Life completely changes once a person gets married, (Hopefully towards a better way). And it turns upside down once you have a kid (or Kids)! Till your child is an infant, you spend most (almost all) of your time “coochie cooing” your newborn, feeling overwhelmed, making n number of resolutions for yourself as well your kids, entertaining lots of guests, getting adjusted to the real change your new addition in the family has brought to your already set routine, trying to catch some peaceful nap and what not as a new parent. And as the time flies, all of a sudden your infant turns into a toddler who is now eagerly picking up and learning everything from his first teachers i.e. PARENTS! Kids notice everything with detail and attention whatever their parents do and take every action .So, the parents must always keep a check on their actions and habits whenever they are with kids.
1. DO NOT FIGHT / ARGUE WITH YOUR PARTNER
It is normal to have difference of opinions among husband and wife and the discussion might just get into an argumentation mode, but it is not OK to continue with your arguments leading to serious fights in front of kids. You do not want them to learn to argue with you the same way you are doing it with your partner. Keep your voices low and be in a discussion mode to talk about differences in front of kids & it is better to hit the STOP BUTTON if things start getting out of hand. You can sort out the matter behind closed doors, in private.
2. NO CRYING / HOWLING –
Kids are pretty sensitive towards their parents. If you cry / howl in front of your kids, they are likely to feel hurt, confused, unsafe, and traumatized. It also creates a very unhealthy environment for your child’s development & growth.
3. RAISE HANDS ON EACH OTHER
This doesn’t look civilized any way, with or without kids around, isn’t it? Well, no matter what, NEVER raise your hands on each other even in the maddest of the maddest fit of rage! And specially, if you have kids around. You do not wish them to learn being violent.
4. DOING DANGEROUS STUNTS
Well, at times while playing with a kid, we end up doing stuff that could possibly be dangerous for a child to repeat at his age. For eg. Jumping from a high sofa/bed, standing on a chair/table, covering up our faces with some cloth or plastic etc. These acts surely attract a kid’s attention and they are likely to repeat what they see, no matter if you are around or not.
5. BE A LAZY BUM
“Time and Tide wait for none.” We all have heard this quote. You surely want your child to be a successful person in life and success comes to those who understand the importance of time. So, for that, you need to be an organized and time respecting parent yourself. Being a lazy bum will only make your things pile up endlessly with less of time to catch up the deadlines, cook, clean and spend time with your family. Seeing you follow a proper routine and being so well organized will help your child to create his own routine for things and as he / she grow up, they will definitely understand the importance of time. If you want your child to be playful, active and healthy, you just can’t be the opposite yourself.
6. INTIMACY… IN YOUR ROOM PLEASE.
You might be completely smitten by the beauty or handsomeness of your partner, or the way he / she looks in that dress just bowls you over, but as parents, you must always take care of never crossing the line of your P.D.A. while you have kids around you. This would not only be putting you up in an embarrassing situation in front of your kids but also will impact their thought process negatively. You definitely want them to grow up normally without being confused, disturbed, embarrassed, and distracted.
You should always avoid telling lies in front of your kids, whatever the situation or the matter. They are smart enough to pick up all the wrong habits instantly. To keep them away from lying to you, don’t practice it yourself.
8. STICK TO YOUR CELL PHONE / DIGITAL WORLD
This is one thing that surely needs to be cut down. How this advance technology is disturbing our lives, we do not realize until we have children. It is only when they see us and repeat our behavior by sticking to the iPad or cell phones all the time and with almost nil human interaction, this becomes an alarming situation. If you want your kid to stay away from spending his whole time over tablets or cell phones, its better to give YOUR time to you kid. Play with him / her, take them out, spend time with them. The early years of a child should be with books or other developmental activities.
9. WATCH YOUR WORDS WHILE YOU SPEAK
Ok, you might not be on very good terms with someone form the family, neighborhood or workplace, or there might be that one victim of your humor, still never make fun of others in front of kids. No name calling, no gossiping, no secret revealing no no! If you want your kids to be respectful and well behaved, watch your words while you speak.
10. DISCOURAGE YOUR CHILD
Parents often, knowingly or unknowingly put up lot of pressure on their kids at every stage of life. If your kid got low scores, wants to learn arts and not science, is interested in the non conventional stuff, never discourage! Be the pillar of support. And also, if you wish him to change his mind, discouraging your child for his choices is never a good option. A child can take discouraging words from anybody in the world, but the same thing from his own parents breaks him apart and only becomes a hurdle in his success.
11. BREAK PROMISES
“Promises are meant to be broken”, not exactly. With each promise done by his parents, a child attaches his heart and his faith in you. Broken promises diminishes ur child’s faith in you. Its always better to promise for those things that could be fulfilled only. If due to some circumstances, you are unable to fulfil the promise, do not forget to apologise for that and try to make up for it soon. This would not only keep ur child’s faith in you but the child would also start understanding your situations well.